They Won’t Stay In My Head

It has been confirmed beyond a doubt that I am a visual learner. The news was on TV as I was preparing dinner last night and I could hear the anchor reporting on the day’s events, but I wasn’t actually watching the broadcast.

What he said: 17 miners were trapped in an elevator shaft in a rural New York salt mine.

What I heard: 17 minors were trapped in an elevator shaft in a rural New York salt mine.

What my head said: Why in the world were those kids in a mine shaft? Where were their parents? How old were these minors? Was it a field trip, maybe? This rosemary smells so good.

What you’re thinking: I can’t believe Jenster is admitting this in public. She could have kept it to herself and no one would be the wiser.

You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything.

It’s not like the time at work when a coworker said “Crisis averted!” and what I heard was, “Chris is perverted!” I asked who Chris was and what had he done to be considered perverted. There was no getting around that one as the entire office heard my questions.

But the minor/miner thing was in my head. I didn’t have to tell.

I mean, I can keep these things to myself. I didn’t tell you how I kept waving my hand under the paper towel dispenser at the restaurant today, completely frustrated that the sensor wasn’t sensing. I mean, come on. It only has one job. But then I realized there was no sensor and all I had to do was pull the paper towel out.

Dang.

I just told you that, too.

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Oh Snap!

Oh Snap!

I have a small laundry room and I used to hang my clothes on the door jamb as I took them out of the dryer. That wasn’t a great idea because one, I’m short; and two, the clean clothes were easily knocked down on those rare occasions when I didn’t actually move them from the door jamb to their respective closets. And when I say “rare occasions” what I mean is pretty much every time I did laundry.

Hanger Holder So eventually I bought a hanger holder (just like the one in the picture) and Todd affixed it to the wall for me. It was a joyous day in my house when the hanger holder came to live with us. My life was transformed.

Fast forward to this past Friday. I was in a bit of a hurry and there was already one load of clean laundry hanging on my precious hanger holder (please refer to 1st paragraph for reference). Normally I would have put the first load from the hanger holder away before I started adding the second load, but there was no time for that. I had places to go and people to see. So I just shoved the items from the second load wherever it looked like there was a smidgen of space.

The top I wanted to wear was among the first load so after I finished with the second load I reached in to extract the shirt. I heard a sort of popping sound but denied the thought it was something important. However, as I pulled my shirt free of its prison the sort of popping sound turned into a loud SNAP and all my lovely clean clothes fell to the disgustingly dirty floor of the laundry room.

My choice of wording at that moment was unfortunate. Invoking the five second rule, I stooped down and grabbed the pile of clothes – still on their hangers and still attached to the stupid hanger holder – and threw them on a chair in the living room.  I went back to the laundry room to make sure I’d gotten all the clothes off the floor. I had. But when I looked up to where the ridiculous piece of plastic used to hang I burst into a fit of laughter. This t-shirt was the only thing that was left on the remaining piece of hanger holder:

Oh Snap

I am not joking!!! I was headed out the door for a Christian conference and the breaking hanger holder caused me to sin. (This is me not taking responsibility for my attitude, but placing the blame elsewhere. It’s a gift.) But instead of leaving the house with a sour mindset, I left with a giggle.

Coincidence that Todd’s “Oh Snap” t-shirt was the one article of clothing remaining?

I think not.

Who’s Funnier?

Katie and I watched Modern Family tonight and it made me ask a question I never should have.

Me:  So who’s funnier? Me or Dad?

Katie:  Well, I’m tired. Going to bed now.

Me:  Seriously? You’re just going to ignore me?

Katie:  Okay, fine. You’re both funny. It’s just that we laugh with Dad, but we laugh at you.

I just had to ask.

TP Update/Foob Brilliance

Remember the Great Toilet Paper Debacle of ’09? I had asked Taylor to look in the hall closet upstairs to see if there was any toilet paper. I heard him open the door and I envisioned him diligently searching so I took his word for it when he said, “no”. Imagine my surprise on Saturday when I found SEVEN rolls in the hall closet! Seven whole rolls just sitting there. They weren’t covered by towels or blankets. They were just quietly taking up space on the shelf in plain sight!

That’ll learn me.

***

Sunday morning at church I approached my friend, Gail, as she was chatting with Sarah, to ask her a question. When she saw me she hugged me and said, “I love it when you blog about your boobs!” It was quite obvious from the look on Sarah’s face that she had no idea what Gail was talking about. Between the two of us we explained what the post had been about.

She considered the story for a moment and then she said, “So instead of Locks of Love, it’s like Bosoms of Blessings.” How brilliant is that??

It Is What It Is

This morning in church our pastor asked us what the shortest verse in the Bible is. I shouted out, “Jesus Wept”. Brian said, “No, it’s pray continually.” So I sent him an email when I got home:

Pray continually – 15 letters
Jesus wept – 9 letters

I’m just sayin’.

He replied with:

1 Timothy 2:12


I grabbed my Bible, looked it up and proceeded to laugh my head off.

I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.

Even Doctors Have Holiday Spirit

I had my yearly female exam today. Don’t worry. I’m not going to go into great detail about it. I just wanted to share two things with you.

1 – I spied the enemy, the scale, as the nurse and I approached the place where she would take my vitals. I’d been dreading that part of the visit for weeks. But instead of asking me to step on the scales, she asked if I knew my weight. I was so shocked that I actually told her the truth! After I thought, Man! I should have told her 115!

2 – Check out the picture I took while I was waiting for the doctor.

That is some funny stuff!! The doctor told me one of the nurses “decorates” the exam rooms. In November the stirrups had turkeys. Almost makes me want to go back in February and see if there are hearts.

As soon as I got in the car I had to send Todd the photo. He called shortly thereafter and said he wasn’t sure which was more disturbing. Santa on the stirrups or the fact I’d take a picture of it.

Ladies’ Night Out

So last night my friends, Laura and Sheri, and I took Kris to The Cheesecake Factory for her 40th birthday. The waitress brings us our drinks and we toast each other, excited beyond belief that we’re actually out without husbands or kids, and I made the comment it was just like Sex and the City. Laura pipes up with, “Mmmm, more like Abstinence and the Suburbs.”

Seriously???

When I was getting ready to start my second round of chemotherapy, Taxotere, my oncologist told me most people had an easier time with it than the adromycin/cytoxin I had been given for the first round. However, joint pain or stiffness is a common side effect.

I had my last Taxotere treatment at the end of November 2005 and it wasn’t until late February or early March of 2006 that I didn’t need a steaming hot shower to loosen up enough to walk half way normal. Still, I have dealt with a certain degree of stiffness ever since.

After the chemo I was put on Tamoxifen. When my estrogen levels finally came down following the removal of my ovaries last year I was switched to Arimidex. One of its side effects is joint pain or stiffness. Mornings and late evenings are the worst, making my fingers hard to manipulate.

So this is my new Arimindex prescription:

Crossposted at Mothers With Cancer

A Bunch of Good Stuff

So what’s up? Nothin’ much going on here. Just the usual. You know. Todd’s at work – he’s got major short timer’s disease, but he’s making a valiant effort; Katie’s babysitting; Taylor’s at CIY in Tennessee – kind of like church camp only much more intense. Katie’s Little Homies are going camping this afternoon through Saturday morning so Todd and I get some just us time. I think I’m going to make reservations at that new Italian restaurant we were going to eat at for our anniversary, but they were booked. Yeah. That’s a great idea.

***

We watched “Fools’ Gold” last night and LOVED IT! The chemistry between Kate Hudson and Matthew McConnohotty is nearly palpable. It had everything I love in a movie. Adventure, romance, humor, an exotic location and even a bit of history. Well, made up history, but still.

The prude that I am was a little disappointed at a flash of anonymous boobies. It’s PG-13, for cryin’ out loud. It was a quick flash, but so very unnecessary. It reminded me of when I was in 8th grade and my AT group went into Hollywood to see Romeo and Juliet at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Really cool experience, but the boys in the group were thrilled when Olivia Hussey jumped out of bed, baring her chest. (But really, what do you expect with a name like Hussey?) The girls were just embarrassed. And a little envious. Or maybe that was just me.

***

OH! Have I told you we actually have a Sonic AND a real Starbucks with a drive through now? Maybe two miles from the house, if that. The only problem with the Sonic is it’s such a novelty up here that they have to have traffic managers with walkie talkies directing cars who are waiting for the next available slot. It’s totally insane. I mean, I love Sonic and all – you know I do – but it’s not THAT great.

Last Sunday after Youth Group a bunch of the older kids went to Sonic. They parked in the lot and walked over to order and eat at the picnic tables out front. You order in the same kind of speaker box as if you’d pulled up to a slot, but you give them your name so when they come out they know where the order goes. So here’s the conversation with the Sonic chick and my son:

SC: What’s your name?

T: Taylor.

SC: What is it?

T: Taylor.

SC: Tyler?

T: Taylor.

SC: What was that?

T: Billy.

SC: Billy?

T: Yup.

***

This is the top of the swimsuit I bought for Hawaii the other day. I consider it was a good day because I didn’t cry in the dressing room. Didn’t even feel the urge. I certainly don’t like the way I look in a swimsuit. Heck, I didn’t like it when I was 40 pounds lighter. But it is what it is so there’s no sense getting depressed about it. But what thrilled me was the fact it’s just a normal top and it just happens to hide both my mastectomy scar (my left mastectomy scar is pretty high up) and my port scar. I also got two different bottoms – red regular bottoms and a coral SwimMini.

***

This morning I found a great deal on plane reservations for my parents to come up for Thanksgiving. So I called Mom and we booked those babies before they went away. Mom and Dad actually get in on my 43rd birthday. I think we’ll celebrate with a chocolate cake and 29 candles. It’s just been the four of us for the last two Thanksgivings so we’re really looking forward to having some family to help us celebrate.

***

All this goodness leads me to today’s verse.

If you, then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven give
good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:11